Lazy Five Ranch

My friends Karen, Sarah and I decided we needed to have an adventure. Back when we first started hanging out three years ago, we were always doing something fantastic -- roller skating, attending monster truck rallies, combining Mad Libs and martinis, having Audrey Hepburn movie marathons followed by fully-costumed Holly Golightly monologue performances ("I'm not hotfooting it after Jose if that's what you think!").

These adventures were great, but it had been a long time since we'd had one. We recently resolved to fix this by going to the Lazy Five Ranch. It was going to be a safari adventure! Karen drove her jeep. Sarah stood next to it like a safari rock star. 

Lazy Five Ranch is one of those places where animals roam free, you tour their home safari-like in your car, feed them from the windows and then mosey on home. I thought it was going to be laid back, perhaps because it has the word "Lazy" in its name. I should have noted the "Enter At Your Own Risk" sign behind me.

We were first greeted by adorable little black pigs, who looked a lot like my dog Sunshine.

Then came the emus, llamas and cows. Emus are scary and prehistoric looking: very dinosaurs with feathers. Llamas are both adorable and aggressive. Cows? Cows do not take no for an answer. Did I have an experience in which a cow and emu simultaneously went after my feed bucket as I screamed, pulled away (their heads fully in the vehicle) and started to attempt to close the window? You bet I did. No animals were harmed during this time of screeching. They seemed Zen. Aggressively Zen (if that is possible) and very peckish (especially the emu, hardy-har-har).

It was good times. The Lazy Five Ranch gets your adrenaline pumping.

It also teaches you that there are lovely, gentlemanly llamas and sweet, long-lashed llamas and mean, jerky llamas who butt the lovely, sweet ones out of the way in order to get a snack.

The giraffes were the best. So majestic. So drooly. We made good use of the sunroof.

I don't know if you know this, but giraffes are really tall. And they have pretty eyes.

Speed limit five miles due to the zebra in the road.

Zebras are pretty.

 And yaks have their own beauty happening too. (This is a yak, right?)

Our visit to Lazy Five Ranch resulted in a close encounter with giraffe drool...

braving the beaks of emus...

and getting feed all over me and Karen's jeep.

And as you can see, it was fantastic.

A Tale of Two Dresses

This one time I thrifted a gorgeous, form-fitting, perfect party dress. I wore it. I loved it. Then I found it again at a different thrift store, in a different size and color, but equally lovely. I wore it. I loved it. I took blurry photos of it in my foyer. It is a thrifting miracle. 

The adventure begins

I just finished my student-teaching orientation, and let me tell you this: I will have no life for the next four months. Or: I should have no life for the next four months because I want to be successful. When I told Robert we weren't going to go out of town between February and May (or at least I'm not), he laughed in my face. (Just to clarify: Robert laughed in my face in a very supportive "Let's be honest, I know you" way.) It's true: We like our weekend trips. We have a lot of family. We have never gone three months without going out of town. It is likely we actually will go out of town. But if/when we do go out of town, I'll be lugging a lot of work with me.

In other news: I have a new, steady freelance gig, which also increases my workload and I have an additional class at the university and I have to take the Praxis and by "take" I also mean "pass." I am nervous, people. When will I fit in the dog park?! I LOVE the dog park. Where is thrift shopping in this equation? (I'm going to count both dog park and thrift shopping as stress relief necessary for my sanity. They fit into the "stress relief" part of this equation.)

But it will all be fine. It's always fine. It will be exciting! I'm moving toward becoming a licensed teacher! I'm following my calling! (That's right. I said it: Calling.) And I recently thrifted a whole lot of cute cardigans to perfect my school marm look (and I'm working on getting a nice Marion-the-Librarian bun thing going too). There is just so much to look forward to.

Not Joan

Once upon a time, there was a woman who wanted to be Joan from Mad Men. In no way was she actually Joan from Mad Men. Her hair wasn't red. Her measurements didn't measure up. She did not purr. She talked. Men did not give her furs. She found them at thrift stores and then had internal debates about whether or not it was ethical to buy fur if it was second-hand (ultimately deciding yes, but feeling shaky on the decision). She never slept with a married man with the exception of the man she actually married. She could not conquer eye makeup.

What she did conquer, or at least slap around a little bit, was the pencil skirt and red sweater. These were things this woman could handle. And while she didn't make men drool the way Joan did, her dog did a good bit of drooling over her. And for this woman, that was enough.

Top 2011 Happenings

It was a pretty big year. I started school. The same week I left my full-time reporter job, I was given a fancy writing award. I got married. We went to Ireland. There were many instances of cool art and yummy food. I worked a lot with kids, and these kids were both difficult and adorable. Out of all this activity, I have chosen the top five (pleasant, enjoyable, fantastic and happening) happenings of the year. 

Happening #5: The Beach

There is something very specifically beautiful about the ocean in winter. It's so dramatic and the wind is so bitterly cold. I love it. We went in February (we visit and stay with Robert's granddad), and then went again in the summer. The summer trip was typical fun in the sun and I wore my 8-year-old retro bathing suit that never goes out of style because the last time it was in style was 1959.

Happening #4: The Mountain House 

My parents fulfilled a long-time dream and bought a house in the smoky mountains. It's very cozy (check out that fire!) and has a gorgeous view. We celebrated an early Christmas there, and it was just very merry. (Pictured above are my niece, sister and my sister's boyfriend.)

Happening #3:  My Thirtieth Birthday

This one time I turned 30, and I accepted it. As exhibited here. We had fun party and I snuggled up to my younger man feeling very Demi and Ashton (This was back when it was positive to feel Demi-and-Ashton, not like now when it's depressing to feel like Demi-and-Ashton. Also: A two year age difference is really no biggie. Except when you turn 30 and he is 28. Unacceptable.)

Happening #2: Honeymoon in Ireland

I think "Honeymoon in Ireland" says it all when it comes to explaining the awesomeness. 

Happening #1: Our Wedding

It was romantic and beautiful and sappy and funny. It was what we wanted it to be, officiated by our artist friend Karen Banker and attended by a small-ish group of our loved ones. The following party was hearty, the beer was delicious and the resulting marriage has been wonderful.

Dog, Fish

This is a story of love. 

Love between a dog and a girl wearing a fish tunic, leggings and full-on pirate boots (pirates are awesome).

Love. True love. 

Forget diamonds, dogs are a girl's best friend. That's what I say. (On a semi-regular basis.)

My mumu

Pictured above is my mumu. I guess it's actually a maxi dress, but it definitely serves the same purpose as a mumu: sweet, precious, lazy comfort.

I bought it this fall when the weather was frigid. I came back from my thrift store adventure with this and a little black dress and a little red dress. The black and red dresses could be worn at holiday gatherings or in everday life with layers. This maxi dress, however, screamed SUMMER. Robert laughed at me when I showed it to him. "You don't always just thrift for the season you're in!" I told him. It's one of my thrifting rules. Find something awesome? Snatch it up. Summer will come again.

But I didn't wait for summer. This is my new mumu. The semester is over (All A's, what what!), and I have two weeks before student teaching starts. Allegedly, I will spend these weeks getting my house in order. So far, I've spent my days reading The Hunger Games trilogy (SO GOOD) and making country music mix CDs... and wearing this maxi-dress mumu maybe a bit too much.