Fall list

1. Walk in the woods: We walked in a lot of parks. That had woods attached. So I'm going to check this one off. (Look at the pretty lake! I took this picture on a Thanksgiving walk.)

2. Go to a fall festival: We only went to one (shocking!) but it had a food truck rally and a pumpkin patch and was walking distance from home. Success.

3. Make stew: I totally did this at least twice. Who takes pictures of stew? Apparently not me.


4. Visit the mountains: We did. For less than a day because Robert had a work emergency that demanded we go back home. Boo. But we did get to see the foggy fall colors!

5. Go to a food truck rally: See: Fall Festival. Also: Yummy.

6. Dress Thomas up for Halloween: He dressed up as a Pumpkin and  Bunny Rabbit. Who is the cutest?! (Answer: Thomas. Thomas is the cutest.)

7. Visit a brewery, drink a seasonal: I visited a brewery. At a different location, I drank seasonal beer. I planned to do both at the same place, but the Panthers were playing and it was all loud and crowded so me and my friends ended up eating at a Mexican restaurant connected to a Days Inn, which was delicious. So: Half success.

8. Carve a pumpkin: Thomas is a tiny toddler. We painted that pumpkin, instead!

9. Drink a pumpkin spice latte: Yep. Yum.

10. Take Thomas to a farm: This was the most fun! It is definitely going to be an annual fall ritual for us!

Cheese

So.... this happened. And it's kind of the most amazing, cheesiest bunch of adorable Christmas cheese of all time! What is happening in this picture? I'm not so sure, but I'm loving it! Thomas wishes you all a Merry Christmas!

Unapproved action

So... motherhood is interesting and not what I expected, and I think the best thing I can do for my baby/myself is just roll with it, live in the present and accept life as it is. For example: Once upon a time, I thought I wouldn't let Thomas have sugar until his first birthday, maybe his second.  

But then his great-grandmother gave him a bite of banana pudding (without permission, people!), and so his second food was banana pudding (first food: peas). Not what I had planned.

And while it was not planned, I found it to be hilarious. We are back on a baby-appropriate diet now. He's tried peas and rice cereal mixed with formula. It's a terribly exciting time. (Also terribly exciting: my bobbed haircut. I don't know why I didn't cut my hair sooner for serious. I may never grow it out ever again.)

So, yes, out of the very few foods Thomas has tried, banana pudding was his favorite. Look at that little grin! (No sugar again until his first birthday! Or maybe his second! Allegedly! So I claim!)

Hair = cut

Chop chop.

Not dealing

This baby!

He is so cute!

I can't even deal.

I mean, just look at that face!

(Baby's jammies: thrifted. Awesome chair: gifted by Robert's mom, upholstery is definitely circa 1980-something.)

Audrey's pet deer

Did you know Audrey Hepburn had a deer as a pet?

Well she did.

And it was awesome...

And ridiculous...

All at the same time.

Mommy Wars

When I was pregnant, I had the Mommy Wars going on inside my own head. I was utterly convinced I should stay at home with my child, and I was utterly convinced I needed to keep working if only for sanity's sake. I went back and forth about what to do and felt pretty terrible about all potential choices.

I really love my job. I also really love my son. So I ended up going for a bit of a compromise. I'm taking three months off from the school year and then returning to work. Yesterday was open house, and I went to see my students and let them know I wasn't going to be there at the start, but I'm coming back! We were supposed to wear school colors -- red, black and white -- so I wore this.

These are new Dansko heels I bought on eBay. So cute. A little Wicked Witch of the West in the best possible way.

While at school, I really wanted to be back at work. I love the start of the school year. I love my students. I love teaching. But now that I'm back at home, I'm glad I get to spend more time with my son. He will only be this little once. He's already huge compared to what he was three weeks ago! I love his little dolphin noises and his snuggles and the weight of him in my arms. I am glad I get three more months to enjoy him all day every day.

So it goes

So... I still have a full-body rash resulting from the medication I took after being in that car accident, which means I am mostly wearing a tunic and no pants because pants make me itch. No outfit photos of this look! Instead, I will post another picture of my baby. His wardrobe is so so so superior to mine at the moment.

I realize most people who read this blog are not new moms, but in case you are or are interested in mom-dom or the "joys" of pregnancy, I'm accidentally following four blogs of new moms/pregnant ladies. These are all blogs I followed anyway, and then all of sudden everyone was pregnant! It clearly made me feel pretty connected to the writers! I want to especially suggest this post, which talks about the difficulty of the first days/weeks. (I struggled with breastfeeding so much I'm not even going to get into it. All I'll say is all my friends/doctors/family were nonjudgmental and supportive, and I beat myself up like crazy over it.) What I like about all four blogs is that no one's sugarcoating the experience. Yes it is wonderful and amazing and baby bumps are cute and actual babies are even cuter, but it's also an incredibly trying experience (with or without a full-body rash).

The blogs are:

Ramshackle Glam

The Clueless Girl

Healthy Tipping Point

These Are Modern Colors

I also want to link to a blog post that made me cry when we were trying to conceive. At the time, it felt like it was taking an eternity to get pregnant (actuality: 10 months), and I worried so much it would never happen. Jane from "Always with Yoo" wrote about infertility in such an eloquently heartbreaking way here.

Blogs are awesome because they provide connections. My two best friends are both mamas, but they also both live very far away from me (phone calls are your friend). My nearby friend circle is full of awesome women who are child-free mostly by choice. I am trying not be that lady who talks about her kid all the time (so far: not successful), but it's nice for me to be able to hop onto the Internet and read about women who are going through the same things I am. I didn't think I had unrealistic expectations going into motherhood, but I'm finding that it's different than I thought it would be, and I'm falling short in ways I didn't expect (coughbreastfeedingcough). Through my long-distance friends and these blogs, I'm learning that the experience is not full-on sunshine and rainbows for anyone, and that really keeps me from feeling alone and defeated. Instead, I can cherish all the perfect moments in this imperfect time. There is nothing better than singing to my son and seeing him smile. There is nothing better than snuggling up with his little hand holding my finger. There is really nothing better than this.

Five weeks

My Thomas is five weeks old. What a five weeks it has been! If I never see the inside of another hospital room/doctor's office it will be too soon! Our sweet, precious boy was actually due just 12 days ago. Isn't that crazy? He was "on the cusp" of being premature. This led to some problems with feeding, sadly, and more mommy guilt than I care to admit. I'm trying to be the best mommy I can be, but sometimes I'm so aware of where I'm falling short!

Last week's car accident and subsequent whiplash and meds for me didn't make matters any better. Pictured above: Robert and Thomas hanging out in the parking lot while I was in the emergency room (well, I had actually just come out of the emergency room and was taking their picture, but you know what I mean). Aren't they cute? Whiplash/dealing with insurance companies/ being on meds with a newborn/ not being on meds when maybe you should be/ developing a full-body rash because of your meds are all decidedly not cute.

Aww... that face! We have such an adorable baby. He is so floppy and expressive.

Being a mommy is awesome and exhausting. My main goal right now is to try to let go of some of the guilt/worry/trying to be perfect. Happy moms make for happy babies, right? When I held him in the hospital on his first day, I wondered if I would now be worried for the rest of my life. He is such a wee, little thing, and I want his life to be wonderful! My new goal is to lighten up, take it down a notch and just do my very best. I mean, it's the very best I can do, right? Right.

About to pop?

I feel like if there's any time in life when you should have zero body issues, it should be when you're pregnant. You're growing a human! It's not time to worry about your waistline! But as I'm getting bigger and bigger, I'm getting more and more questions and comments from strangers, most of whom assume I'm due, like, tomorrow instead of in three months.

"You look like you're about to pop!" "Are you sure you're not having twins?" And so on. Not about to pop! Not having twins! Oh, and another thing, when they find out I am due in July instead of in two weeks, they give me this sad face and tell me how horrible it is to be really, really pregnant in the summer in the really, really hot South.

Sigh. I guess we'll see how it goes. So far, my third trimester has been infinitely easier than my first and second (when I was sick a lot). I realize I'm very early into it and terrible things could be coming my way (Swelling! Rashes!), but I'm going to try not to think about that right now. I'm trying really hard not to worry about problems I don't actually have yet. (Sometimes it's not so easy. Like when strangers are telling you about swelling and rashes.)

In other news, I bought this vintage owl pendant at an antique shop while I was at the beach. It is the cutest and the best, and I love it.

The necklace works well with my long-ago thrifted heart dress. I love this dress so much, and it covers my belly no problem (although I probably wouldn't wear it without leggings as it's a bit short now). The little cardigan is off of eBay and so are my Dansko shoes. I walked around downtown Raleigh all day in these suckers, and my feet didn't hurt at all. We were in town for a gorgeous and wonderful wedding... more on that later!

Winter coat

Is this the last time I'll wear my winter coat this year? I hope so! Although, probably not. But maybe!

 I do love it so (it's so reddish-orange and has a ruffle!), but I can't say I'm sorry to let it go. Bring on spring! Let's get this thing rolling!

Fall To Do List

It's officially fall. OFFICIALLY FALL! (Boots! Leaves! Fairs and fun!) And I have plans, people. I have some serious plans.

Fall To Do List:

1.  Carve a pumpkin

2.  Go camping

3.  Make s'mores

4.  Eat pumpkin pie

5.  Go to a corn maze

6.  Go to a fair

7.  Host Thanksgiving

8.  See the leaves in the mountains

9. Go hiking

10. Drink hot cider

(It's good to have goals.)

Two things

Let's talk about two things: My dog and my foyer.

There they are -- my dog and my foyer or, I guess, my dog in my foyer.

First of all, I'm pretty pleased that I am living a life that involves a foyer. This is my first foyer, and I so prefer having a foyer to having, I don't know, unruly roommates and a cement block front porch. Just sayin'.

Second of all, my dog has an awesome scarf made out of T-shirts created by my dog sitter (who is also a friend and really into DIY projects). My dog is hipper and cooler and more hipster-cool than I can hope to be.

Third of all, my foyer has this giant, very nice oriental rug in it. We inherited it. It matches the art that I did not inherit and instead picked up from consignment shops and thrift stores and artist friends who are awesome. I like this rug in the foyer. It makes me feel a little bit like a rich European lady even though I am only one of those three things (I am a lady. I am totally a lady.).

Fourth of all, part of me is not so sure about this rug. Do I like it? Do I really like it?

Fifth of all, all of me is absolutely sure about my dog. I love her so much, and she loves the rug because it makes it easy to grip the floor. With hardwood floors, she was always having traction problems and skittering about like a Looney Toons character. So the rug stays because the dog stays and no one wants to live in a Loony Toons cartoon. No one.

Curve Appeal

I've added a new blog to my daily reading, and I love it so much, I thought I'd share it with you: Curve Appeal.

Why do I like it so much? Because I'm not skinny, and I'm surrounded by media images that tell me skinny is the way to go. And so: I have to fight to feel fabulous, and I don't think I'm alone.

It is not wrong to be skinny. It can also fabulous to be skinny! But there are many different ways to be fabulous, and I love seeing images of "curvy" women on the regular. These women are stunning! Their bodies are varied! Often, the women posting share that they're recovering from eating disorders or working to accept their bodies, and there's just a general "You go, girl!" vibe to the site. That's one of my favorite kind of vibes, and so I'm a big fan.

Eclectic Librarian

I've been thinking about my personal style lately. Mostly I've been thinking: What is it? Who am I? What is it all about, man? 

There were two articles that really started me thinking. The first one was posted on xoJane, and I read it and came up with a really long, convoluted definition of my personal style, which I don't even remember now, but I do remember it had some oxymoronic adjectives.  Later I read, Gala Darling's take on personal style and realized a 7-word definition of my personal style wasn't going to cut. I had to define the style that is personal to me in only two words. Two words! So few words!

But then I did it: Eclectic Librarian. 

Eclectic is both totally accurate and a bit of a cop out. It says "I am so many things! I enjoy a wide variety of thrifted fashions and am inspired by both '50s movie stars and cartoons from the '90s!"

Librarian refers to my bookish/schoolmarmish bent and makes it seem like I wear glasses as a signature accessory rather than simply as a way to see the world. (Although I wear contacts sometimes too. See? Eclectic! Ever-changing!)

But here's the thing: It is summertime, and in the summertime I don't seem to adhere to my eclectic librarian style. Instead, I prefer shorts and men's shorts and maxi-dresses and tank tops and all other assortments of whatnot and other. As seen here:



Now, let me first of all state: Clothes are fun. Style is fun. No one is saving lives here. This is not a super big deal. But I really would like to develop a consistent style. I'm 32. I feel it's time. So how do I marry my summertime and school-time looks? Can I? Have I already? And is it okay if I just change up my personal style definition and if I do, what do I change it up to?

These are things I think about.

I mean, what if I'm just an eclectic librarian on summer vacation? But that's five words! Or overheated eclectic librarian? (Three words -- better!) Or bohemian librarian? (Two words! Perfect! But is it accurate? I mean, if you wear a couple of maxi dresses and some wide-leg pants are you allowed to call yourself a bohemian?)

Like I said, not rocket science (but also so much more interesting than rocket science, amIright?), but it's something I've been pondering. What about you? Can you define your personal style in two words? Are you consistent or do you like to play? What is it all about, man?

MacVillage, Fairyland and the Highland Games

Robert's family goes to the Highland Games every year, and even though I've been dating/married to Robert for four years, I have always managed to miss the event... until this year. 

The Highland Games are a celebration of Scottish heritage that take place in the Appalachian mountains every summer. For my husband's sister and mother, however, much of the joy of the Highland Games is found at MacVillage, a close-knit group of Scottish descendants who camp out for a week right outside of the games. In MacVillage, inhabitants live it up rain or shine (and it was plenty rainy this year), play a lot of music, host home-brew contests (Robert won third place!) and scotch tastings, share meals potluck style (and homebrew too actually) and even welcome newbies as one of their own on the traditional fairy walk.

MacVillage is just a section of the campground outside of the Highland Games, and it's its own little camper community. There was a crazy amount of rain this past week (it's been raining 21 days nonstop in North Carolina and a lot of that raining is pouring), but MacVillage didn't let that stop them. They just created a nice tarp system, dug some gutters around the site to keep water flowing away and hung up wet clothes to dry. Also: Mike (that guy in a kilt) is Robert's best friend (pretty much family) and this was his first time camping at MacVillage, and he took to it like a fish to water (good thing too because he basically spent the week in a mud puddle/pond).

Robert and I stayed in a cabin this year, but we're talking about staying in the campground next year. What do you think? Am I tough enough for a week of mud and rain? Can I handle being surrounded by people 24/7? Maybe? Maybe. I will say, I liked being a visitor to the campsite, which was full of pretty things to look at including Scottish flags and gypsy caravans and gorgeous hammocks. I was also so honored to be treated like I was one of their own and get unexpectedly turned into a fairy.

That's right. They threw a lot of glitter on me, stuck a "diamond" on my face and a crown on my head, gave me a pouch full of glitter, and I was one of the fairies on the campground's annual fairy walk. I did not see this turn of events coming, but I went with it. What do you do when someone asks you if you want to be a fairy? Do you say no? No, you roll with it and you welcome the glitter.

Look at all the fairies! After we were all covered in glitter and given crowns and glitter-filled pouches, we walked around the campground sprinkling glitter on everyone offering blessings from the mountain.

Blessings be upon you! Since this is tradition, most people welcomed it with the exception of a few state troopers and teenage boys. The kids ate it up! And I might have doused Robert with glitter more times than technically necessary. Nothing wrong with blessing your husband!

You see the mountain in that picture? That's Grandfather! So, so pretty. While being a fairy and tasting scotch and walking around a campsite took up most of our Highland Games time, we did make it to the actual games.

That's the field where the games took place. (The athletes did things like throw trees.) And those are the huge clouds that loomed all pretty like in the sky.

There I am in all my fairy finery including a skirt borrowed from Robert's sister because I was not anticipating becoming a fairy and was just wearing some boring jean shorts. The stew and cornish pastie pictured above are long gone (and were delicious), but all that glitter? That glitter is still adhered to my skin/ hidden in my hair, and I think it will be for days to come! Oh well, there's nothing wrong with carrying a little fairy magic around with me, is there?