Boats and ponies

If Lyle Lovett had a boat, he'd go out on the ocean, and if he had a pony, he'd ride it on his boat.

I saw Lyle Lovett on the talk show Charlie Rose once, and Charlie Rose asked him how he managed to get such gorgeous ladies since Lyle Lovett was, well, not gorgeous.

And I was all like "Charlie Rose, you are so clueless! Lyle Lovett is charismatic! Lyle Lovett is talented and funny and he is a lanky Texan with giant hair! He sings songs about tough women! He sings song about his truck! He is charming!"

I mean, if I was Julia Roberts I totally would've married Lyle Lovett too. And unlike Julia, I would not have divorced him. I would stick around so he could write songs about me. ("She's got big red lips/ She's got big brown eyes/ and she treats me right/ It's a big surprise/ She don't do the things that she says she'll do/ She makes me feel good/ She makes me feel good.")